Change Has Come a Knockin’ – Let Her In and Embrace Her

changeI was once told that if you are not on the right path in your life (job, marriage, etc.), the universe will tap you on the shoulder. This tap is received in the form of clues like your boss being difficult or fighting with your mate. If you ignore the tap on the shoulder, you will receive an even stronger nudge such as warnings about your job performance or a betrayal in the relationship. If you continue to ignore the messages, you’ll eventually get a kick in the gut.

Your heart being broken is a kick in the gut. It is painful and unwelcome, but the universe is telling you it has a different plan for you – another life experience for you to embrace. At this point, your instincts may tell you that you are not ready to read this article. I think you should. This post is about change.

I want to explain to you how to embrace the current change in your life. If you pick up any book, visit any site, or talk to any relationship expert about getting over break up, change is generally the last step offered, if at all. Stages like denial, anger, tears, blame, bargaining, and realization are addressed first. However, if you set your sight towards the change to come early in the process (now), you will open yourself up to the healing process.

Let’s begin with any indications that you had that your relationship was not working. For those of you who were taken by complete surprise or found the break up to be a shock

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Expert Corner: Rewrite Your Story

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Contributed by our Expert Corner Guest: Catherine VanWetter
Inner-Resolution Facilitator of Peace, Love, Forgiveness and Compassion

Remember the song from the 70’s, “Breaking up is hard to do!”? It’s amazing, how even though we may know that a relationship is not serving our highest good or meeting our needs, we can still hang on tenaciously hoping that something will change. That change may be that the other person becomes who we want them to be or that we may become the person the other one wants us to be. Either way, there is something out of balance with that belief.

As human beings we are meant to be in relationships. It is our basic instinct to socialize and create bonds with those who we love. We learn what relationships are by those who raise us or are our primary caregivers. What we observe as we grow up determines what type of relationships we will be in as we enter into adulthood.

From the ages of 1-7 years old, we watch and take in the world around us. We download information about whether the world we live in is safe. We absorb messages that those close to us tell us or demonstrate. We learn if we are lovable. We learn if we deserve to be nurtured, cared for or made special. We learn whether or not it is safe for us to open our hearts and allow others in. Children at this age are wonderful observers and lousy interpreters. Unable to decipher or make sense of whether or not what they are observing is true.

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The Right to Choose: Making Choices (Part I)

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Let’s start with a multiple choice question: What would you do if you fell and broke your arm?

A)    Take two Tylenol and call it a day
B)    Pray to God that the pain subsides
C)    Go to the hospital and have it set in a cast
D)    Have your dog lick the wound
E)    Ignore it

I assume most people would choose C) – go to the hospital to have it set in a cast. But what if you didn’t make that choice? What if you hate the hospital or love your dog or don’t believe in western medicine? The answer: you would still heal. Time heals. The difference is in how you heal. If you left your broken arm unattended, the split pieces would eventually reunite. The consequence is that the bones may reset improperly leaving you with a permanently mangled appendage.  Your heart works in the same way.

Continue ReadingThe Right to Choose: Making Choices (Part I)