Forget Positive Thinking…Try This Instead

“Changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life deals all of us is the central skill of optimism.” Dr. Martin Seligman, former President of The American Psychological Association and the founding father of Positive Psychology.

I felt my heart ripped out of my chest and my world turned upside after the divorce. At the time, a close friend advised, “Positive thinking, Amelie – it’s what will get you through this.”

I nodded. While I loved her care and best intentions, I wanted to scream, “Are you kidding me?! Haven’t you ever lost love in your life? Don’t you understand your advice to think positively is an impossible mission?”

You may have friends and family that mean well, but give you the advice to embrace positive thinking. The problem is that our mind has a tendency to play a soundtrack of repeating negative thoughts after a break up. The recurring negativity may sound something like this:

“I’m going to be alone forever.”

“I must be doing something wrong – this keeps happening.”

“I’m never going to feel that way again.”

Sound familiar?

Canceling out these negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones is not an easy task; however, as your friends, family, and even inner self recognizes, the practice of positive thinking will help you take a tremendous step on the path towards healing.

So, how do you do it?

Forget positive thinking for a moment and focus instead on what I call positive speaking. The story you tell yourself and the world – the power of these words – has an incredible impact on your emotional state. So, change your story. Replace your negativity with positivity. Wait, isn’t this the same thing as positive thinking? No! Wait, am I asking you to say things you actually don’t believe? No! Let me give you an example.

After your break up, you may be saying to yourself and others, “I’m never going to get over this. Everything in my life is terrible.” You may feel this is a way of venting your pain; however, expressing the sentiment in such a permanent and exaggerated form is actually going to perpetuate your suffering.

I understand you may have lost the person your love, the one other person in the world that you could rely on, and the one you called your soulmate. I understand this pain, because I have been there myself. In light of this, I can tell you with confidence that you will feel better. I can tell you without a doubt, these feelings will pass. In fact, you do not just have to wait for time to go by to heal your wounds – there are actions you can take to help relieve your pain and one of them includes positive speaking.

To begin the process of positive speaking, sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. You will hear hope inside of yourself – hope to feel better and rekindle the spirit of your dreams. Please respect this hope. Your being and spirit do not truly believe that you will never heal from this break up. Do not let your pain overtake your drive for peace, hope, dreams, and to live your life once again with burning passion.

Start speaking in a more realistic, positive manner. Reevaluate your exaggerated feelings and words, and instead, start speaking about your challenges as they truly are: temporary and isolated to a particular part of your life. In changing the words you speak out loud, you will change the words you speak internally. Hence, your positive speaking will influence your internal dialogue and produce positive thinking.

Replace your original statement: “I’m never going to get over this.”

With a more positive statement: “My pain is temporary and there is hope for the future.”

Replace your original statement: “Everything in my life is terrible.”

With a more realistic statement: “This break up is a huge challenge in my life, but I am grateful for my children [or insert something for which you are still grateful].”

Do you engage in negative thinking that could be flipped to positive speaking? Share your thoughts below.

Hey, are you in Step to Heal? It’s the program that super charges your healing. Most of us don’t have the patience for traditional counseling, nor the budget. Step to Heal packs in everything you need to heal your broken heart in an online program that has helped thousands. If you’re craving more healing than just this article, check it out by clicking here.

Source & Inspiration for this article: Seligman, Martin E. P.  Learned optimism / Martin E.P. Seligman ; Random House Australia, Milsons Point, N.S.W. :  1992

351 thoughts on “Forget Positive Thinking…Try This Instead”

  1. Wow, I was painting the upstairs bathroom and thinking of everyone. Meant to get on a post last night but the fumes got to me :@
    I had a wicked good time in NJ and NY, posted pictures on Facebook. I came back and had a talk with my lady as I came to the conclusion we would be better off as friends. The last couple of weeks I have been concentrating my efforts on building my social circle without always trying to be “on the make” — and at the same time getting more used to being alone.
    The next couple of months are going to be rough to say the least. I have 14 years of traditions to try and replace or learn to live without. But I will perservere.
    My love to everyone, enjoy some turkey and smile even if you don’t feel like it…who knows you may learn to make it real.

  2. Hiiiiiiiii M. I am sooo glad you found work. You do what you have to do until u can do what you want. I can’t believe u found so much work when so many are without. I personally know of several jobless ppl for over a year .. that’s wonderful.
    enjoy your vacation keith. I’m not jealous of the show you will see because I abhor musicals. lol .. few exceptions. like sound of music… the king and I. And like sweeney Todd the demon barber. I tolerated those. oh and my fair lady. even so its because I liked the stories and wished the music part was not there. unlike opera which I looooove… I like my stories separate from my music. Hehehehehe.
    have fun Keith. and if you take pics pls share!!!

  3. Hi Keith, Hi Jade
    Keith you always make me laugh, you sound like such a girl talking about chocolate. I hope you have tons of fun on your trip.
    Hi Jade!!!!
    Well, I am working at Perkins and will be working at Publix. Not exactly the career choices I was hoping for but at least Im working. I will also be pet sitting so there goes my life. 3 jobs to be able to make ends meet. My ex-boss has not call me, has not texted me.
    I bumped into him in the supermarket and it was extremely painful. I cried all the way home and then some. Even though we ran into each other 3 times while shopping he did not say a word to me. I looked the other way and kept going praying that I would not break down right there an then. It was funny, I knew he was there next to me before I saw him. I hate that he still has that power over me and I am afraid that he always will.
    At least Im away from him and like Jade, I feel no contact is the best policy. Maybe someday I will be ok. I can only hope for my own sanity!

  4. My bad, it is for the old group I was in before — I just claim it as my own now. I am stoked on the mini vacation to New Jersey, the people I am going with organized a sight-seeing trip to New York on Thursday and Friday then the game is on Saturday. I am hoping to squeeze a broadway play somewhere in there. I would love to see “A Little Night Music”
    I will admit I have had some rough patches lately. And the group leaves me emotionally drained each week but that is why they made chocolate right? The lady I am seeing is great for helping me along the way and even pointed out that she can tell I still have feelings for my ex but knows one day those would be gone too.

  5. How exciting. So jealous of your trip. I have a full 2 weeks of vacation and I am forced to take one this coming week. But for the first time I’m not going anywhere. I’m bummed but not complaining. Will enjoy it all.:)
    You did mention something about the group asking you to lead .. but don’t remember that it was for a new group. Well kudoS to you Keith. What a great thing since you know exactly how they all feel.
    Ya… good idea on accumulating the stuff of your ex and giving them to her in time … I don’t know.. I’ve always been out of sight is better kinda gal :). Less painful.
    hope u update us on your trip. I can only imagine how pretty its going to be it being fall and all ..

  6. I am still here. The new pool liner is in and I have it closed up for the season. My ex showed up and picked up the last of her things but the more I look around the house now, the more stuff I am finding that she could probably need. I figured it would better to accumulate a couple of boxes rather than bother her with each item as I find it.
    I am doing better week by week, the fall has always been my favorite season. I decided to do something “just for me” and booked a trip to see Notre Dame play Navy in New Jersey on the 23rd.
    Not sure if I mentioned this tidbit but the divorce care group I was in has asked me to lead one of my own so I am gearing up for that.

  7. Interesting. Even after that you are so fair and composed. If you have noticed my aim is ALWAYS to avoid pain. Present or future. So I feel like if there is contact the pain will linger on. But your way is more “grown up” and actually healthier way to be. If I could only be so strong and together… it is to be admired.

  8. Oh, there is still pain. Not as much as I had up to May though. Things have progressively gone better but I still have my moments (hence the ice cream in my freezer). The invitations I offered to her go back to February and March though. When she was not interested, I stopped trying. Strangely enough she e-mailed me this morning for some recipes I have. I wish her nothing but the best and if she asks for help I will do what I can…it is in my nature. I don’t think it is possible to erase 14 years of love, I wouldn’t want to try if it was. The difference is that the dynamics of our relationship shifted.

  9. That’s true Keith.
    14 years. My oh my. I can only imagine the hurt. But you seam to be handling it well. Even if I can obviously see a lot of pain in your writing … maybe its better to not have contact at all. Her turning you down might just have been the right thing to do. For the sake of moving on to a new chapter for both of you.
    I really want to start getting out during the week as well. I only seam to get out on fridays … I think the more we are out there. The bigger the chance of meeting someone we like … which would be nice 🙂

  10. We were married for 14 years. I had offered to get together and buy her coffee or dinner but each time she brazenly turned me down saying she “doesn’t want to lead me on” which is fine. At least I extended the olive branch though.
    Last night I decided to take myself out on the town. Had a wonderful Japanese dinner (Teppan) and not only met a table of strangers but had them cracking up the whole time. Then I did some shopping for myself. All in all a great evening.
    We all will get through this, it just takes time and effort. If we hold out during the storm eventually peace will rain down on all of us.

  11. Hi everyone. Keith. That’s it huh? No other reason why you would have to meet? Wow . I forget. How long had you been married?
    Nice M. Glad its keeping him off your head. Keep strong and good luck with the job hunt.
    Amanda. What you said brought me back to the time it dawned on me that no matter what I did or what I aquired or achieved, ultimately I HAVE to somehow be content and peaceful with myself. And not feel like I am not complete unless someone is with me. It seams like us women have this issue. Even when we are successful we still feel incomplete. Which is a shame. I am working on my Zen and hopefuly I will find it.
    Amanda. you also mentioned that its hard at that age. but I tell you .. a co worker found the love of her life just last year at 55. we had the most fun before that when she was single and went on more dates than I did … always doing activities and really happy about life. always up for a margarita somewhere. I used to tell her she should give us whatever pills she is taking. LOL.
    so really everyone has their own pace and challenges they have to face .. and we all do things different ways. but we should have hope and should not loose hope for a better moment. I really think we will make it thru this Amanda. I know there is mercy on It’s way… I refuse to think otherwise.
    hugs and kisses guys.
    hang in there!!!

  12. Amanda, I also take notice of nature and find peace where I can. One thing that I learned over the last 8 months is to journal. When the moments (however fleeting) of peace do end and the sadness kicks in, I write down what the cause was that led me. It may be a song, billboard, commercial, smell, anything. As I write it down, I dissect the problem and try to find a way to counter it. I also learned to be at peace with myself. Sometimes just shutting off the TV or radio and spending a half hour meditating helps especially if you can excersise during that time. When my ex-wife commented on how much weight I lost sinse she left me (30 pounds) I was elated at the acheivement. Being content with yourself is the first step in being happy.

  13. Just to follow up, my ex-wife did come over Sunday as planned. Her intention is that since she is getting an apartment, she wanted to go through the stuff I don’t use (extra blender, knife set, etc). Anyway, it was a productive visit and we got along better than we had most of the last year we were together. Within three hours everything was boxed and loaded up. We even hugged before she left. And as I predicted, now that everything is gone I have a sense of closure. The best part is that we accomplished without ever losing patience or arguing (of course popping a Xanax before she showed up helped a bit).

  14. Thank You Allie.
    How are you holding up?
    I have been so busy trying to get a job that I’ve hardly had any time to think about him.
    I guess there is a positive side to this mess which is my life.
    xoxoxoxoxo M. 🙂

  15. Hello peoples. I’m rather ashamed to say that although i’ve been reading everyone’s comments i’ve not been a good correspondant of late. Glad to hear that some of us have moved on and started to heal, sorry to hear that some of us are in a bad place still. Unfortunately, i’m in the latter group.
    I wish there were some magical formula for ‘moving on’ but there is nothing but the passage of time where all hurts are eventually dulled, if not completely healed. This process is cruel and difficult, especially if you are over 50 and feel that your life is finished, as far as romance and finding a good partner are concerned. At this age, you’re not in the bloom of youth, neither do you have the energy that you once did, every little knock assumes great impact on you. I’m not sure what the answer is, really, except for the time thing. You can distract your mind by various techniques but it’s only for a short while, then your concentration decreases and back it all comes, the sadness, the hopelessness, the plain facts of your situation. The future is always a frightening place and the past is just a morass of sadness and regret, so best to live day to day, even hour to hour if you have to. But it’s the hardest thing to manage, and if i didn’t think i’d go to hell, i’d commit suicide. I seem to be living in hell now, though, that’s if i think too much. I do find solace in nature, animals, beautiful forests, even a simple flower. There is solace in following a handicraft or an art where you can forget everything in the process of creativity. Listening to music is a bit of a passive thing for me, it enduces moods and i don’t find it helpful but actually playing an instrument like my keyboard, that is quite good. Believe it or not i’m trying to look at things positively. Friends only listen for as long as they think you should indulge yourself, so don’t rely on them. And prayer – yes, it’s OK if it gets you by, maybe nature is my prayer. Anyways, i wish you all good fortune and a sweetness within that heals you. I’m thinking of you and if hopes are really answered by whatever god there is, then may my pleas for mercy be heard.

  16. Friday…remember how we used to look forward to the weekends? This afternoon my ex-wife e-mailed that she wants to go through the items in the house 3 months after the divorce is final. My first thought was to say it is all mine but I know there are still some Chirstmas decorations that she has sentimental value to. And I have shelves of her stuff that I boxed up in the basement. Anyway, the plan is for her to come over Sunday afternoon…please pray for it to be quick and smooth as possible.
    My weekend challenge is to get through the weekend without losing my patience.

  17. Oh noooo. I am sorry to hear about the job situation. As you know it is probably for the best!! U knew we were going to say that I am sure. But now comes the hard part. Hang in there M. Slowly it will get better. I will pray for you. Good luck with the job hunt.

  18. Hi Guys!!!
    I have been reading all your posts and refraining from writing since I did not see a point in beating a dead dog over the head.
    Well I just wanted to let you know that I Walked Out today. To make a long story short I just cant take it anymore. My health is failing and I am as unhappy as ever. Today it was the last straw. I will not go into details of why but I left the phone and my keys on my desk and walked out. He was there, did not say a thing. I just walked out and did not look back. He has not called nor texted. (THATS HOW MUCH HE CARED)
    I AM TERRIFIED!!! I need a job now!!!!I will be hitting the pavement tomorrow. Please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts.
    Keith, Jade. I have been laughing at your hillarious entries. Keith stay away from dairy, please!!! Have you heard of Allie? I know she was having a tough time.
    Please pray for me vey hard!!!! I am exhausted and I have a long road ahead of me.
    You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
    Millie XOXOXOOXO

  19. Omg. I was just eating those at work… LOL

    Excellent to hear. I lost you guys some time ago because my link was messed up and I thought that happened again. Glad to see that’s not the case.

    Hope everyone else is good.


  20. Jade, I have been really busy lately even though I thought everything was going to slow down. I took today off as I have a new pool liner that is being installed (so far $4500 and they are not done yet).
    The divorce group that I was going to has asked me to help as a group leader this time so I am actually going to be in charge of it even though I do not meet the two year post divorce requirements.
    I am still seeing the woman I met. It has been one month now and we still communicate just as open and honest as the first date.
    More or less I think I am back on the healing track. I believe that certain opportunities (like leading the group) are put before us as a way to see where we are at in the process. I even went back and re-read one of the divorce books I studied in March and am way ahead of where I was.
    Not to say every day is sunny yet. I used to have bad days and tolerable days. Now every once in a while I have good days mixed in.
    Final Thought: Dark Chocolate Reese Peanut Butter Cups, wow who answered that prayer?
    To everyone, hugs and kisses…love all around!!!

  21. Hahahahaha. Keith.

    Well. Uncharacteristicaly of me I am watching the VMAs. And enjoying it. Had a nice weekend.

    Oh .. guys .. stepped a bit back on my progress here. My phone lost some numbers during a system update. While registering my ex’s number it called his phone. I Hung up immediately … well. I am like sh*t .. after all those drunken nights I excaped and this happenes to me now. I was so mad .. what makes it worse… he did not call back or text or emailed. Which would be normal to do when you see a missed call from someone u haven’t talked to in five months. I think I went at least half way back to my progression. How lame .. I hate myself always for liking someone that doesn’t feel the same way . Even though its an unfounded feeling and we have discussed it before. Oh well. Back to the healing process.

    Cheers u guys

  22. No, we have this amazing communication and talk openly about everything including dissecting our relationship to see where we are at. I know it is too soon to get into anything serious so I am just enjoying day by day while still getting to know “me”
    The goals? I tried, that is all I can say. I held the door for an elderly lady and she muttered something in Spanish which I think translates to white devil go meatloaf. Oh and I let someone in front of me for communion and they looked at me as if they wanted to splash me with holy water. Maybe I will just continue it into the coming week.
    Normally I eat a little ice cream before going grocery shopping, clears out the deli area quickly.

  23. Wow.. hope not too much weirdness came out from that FB situation. LOL on the lactose thing. I guess u can eat those containers on your lonely days.

    How did you do on your goal this weeked???

    Just had a nice birthday brunch and had one too many mimosas. walked it off with a friend at home depot where he had to get some paint and other things. laughed a lot because he is so funny. all in all a nice Sunday.

  24. Allie, no the ice cream is still there. The part I forgot to mention is I suffer from a tad bit of lactose intolerance. I think I bought the ice cream because I either forgot or wanted to scare away the children on Halloween by dressing as “middle-age-guy-with-toxic-cloud-of-stench-behind-him”
    I took my “friend” out for thai food last night and a romantic walk in the park. We sat and watched the sun go down across the river. She had gotten on my Facebook page, then on to one of my relatives to see a post which led her to my ex-wife’s own site. Strange how your past just decides to come up and knock you down with little notice.
    Stay strong, remember to lean on us for support.
    My goal this weekend is to find 5 people and perform random acts of kindness just to see what happens. The other day I raced purposely across a parking lot and blocked a space so I could give it to an elderly woman coming up behind me.

  25. NICE! Was seriously worried u were going to relapse Allie. WONDERFUL. Go have a good time and take charge of your happiness. You deserve only that. Happiness!!!

    Cheers to being happy 🙂

  26. Thanks Guys!!! You guys are the best!!!
    Welcome to our posts Vicky/Rebecca. I’m taking in everything you guys say. I know he’s no good for me, even though part of me wished that he has changed, but Im doubted that. Im going strong…still haven’t reply I just hope that I can remain strong. When I think of the possibilities that we could be together, the rush of pain comes through and it refrain me from calling or texting him back. I was vulnerable and I lost myself when I was with him and mostly I sacrifice my sanity and self respect to hope that he would love and care for me like i should be love and care for. Vicky, you are right….I shouldnt sacrifice those importance aspect to be loved and cared for. Been working really hard for the past to months to get back my sanity and self respect back…don’t want to lose it now. I was in a dark, dark place when I was with him, tho there were times there were light, but the dark place was sooo sooo scary that I don’t want to go back. I mean…I thought of ending my life because of him. I dont’ want to go through that again and have that idea back in my head.
    Thanks u guys for all the support. =)

    ON a lighter note, Im going to a comedy club tonight. A friend of a friend which I met couple of times is performing tonight, so it should be fun. HOpe you guys are having a wonderful Friday and have a great weekend. Looking forward to hear from ur weekend stories and updates on Monday.

    Keith…hope u didn’t finish the 5 container of ice cream u got already. =P

    hugs and kisses all around!!!

  27. Also Allie. You have actually said all the right things in your post. You know the pain will be worse when it goes bad again. And yes nothing really is different this time that he wants to come back. He just does that because he can. Vicky is right. It really is frustrating to see how he is able to turn your life upside down and have you whenever it strikes his fancy. You have so elequently described his behavior and what might happen if u go for it. Now please be strong and hold on to every strength you have and hold your ground.
    Hugs and hugs and more hugs 🙂

  28. DITTO to what Keith and Vicki said. Allie .. u know that I have been the harshest to your ex. The way he has treated you makes me MAD. Your ex and M’s are similar but I have to say yours is the worst. If anyone else does not remember pls go back at old allies posts and I guarantee u you will understand. He is manipulative and a few other choice words that I will refrain from using.
    Be strong Allie .. you deserve TONS better!!!!

    Keith you had me cracking up with your inibriated shoPping. LOL.

    Vicki. Good to hear from u. I am so glad you stepped in to comment. I want to choke that allies ex LOL. Hope u are doing ok.


  29. 3 orange sherbet, one mint, one peanut butter…no rocky road.

    Allie, I hate to be judgemental but it sounds like he is either (1) afraid of going through his birthday alone or (2) looking for a booty call. Now keep in mind that both of these two scenarios will be quick and end within a couple days at best. This will not leave you hurt at this point…it will leave you devastated.
    Stay strong – if you need male companionship I am here for you (and everyone). I will be only a click away 🙂

  30. Hi Guys,
    I often don’t have time to write but I have been following all of your entires and am along side you in your journey. Allie! Don’t do it. If he was the right guy for you, he would stand up and be that guy. I don’t like him being able to just step in and take you back whenever it’s convenient for him. You deserve someone that is NOT going to cause you the pain of not knowing whether you are the one or not!
    Remember what you deserve and know that you do not have to sacrifice your sanity or self-respect to be loved and cared for.

    I just had to say that!
    Much love,

  31. 5 containers of ice cream?!?!!? One of them better be rocky road…

    My ex been texting and emailing me that he wants to talk and wants to get back together and I haven’t reply yet. His birthday is this Monday and all he wants is talk to me. I dont know…Im so confused. I know I still love him, but don’t want to get back together and deal with the pain anymore. Just feels like the relationship wont be going anywhere.
    He messaged me through facebook and I made the wrong mistake of checking his photos and saw a pic I wasn’t happy with. It’s a pic of the young assistant and his ex wife together in a event that we were supposed to go to. I just feel that he can switch from one person to another so easily… that pic was taken a week after we got into a fight and broke up. It’s almost two months now that we haven’t talk and recently he just been texting me that he wants to get back. We have been this route before, what make this time any different from the others? AS much as I still want to be with him but I do believe that some things wont change. And as much as I still think about him everyday, but this type of pain is not as bad as the pain he brought me when we were together. I just don’t know what to do…=(

  32. Went out for drinks with my boss after work. Made the big mistake of grocery shopping with a gin buzz. Ended up buying 5 containers of ice cream just because it was on sale. Getting ready to unwind now with a beer. Here’s to misery…no one can take that away from us right?

  33. Thanks Allie. I am taking it one day at a time. Ive always thought that was best and it looks like it still is 🙂 … we are so powerless against so many things .. its really loss of time and energy to do anything but hang on and keep from loosing it or going mad.

    Thanks for that shot Keith. I might just do that again right now .. hehehe.

    M .. what’s going on? U trying to keep positive;?? Hope so. I know it seams like this pain will last forever but it won’t. It might take longer but it WILL get better. In the mean time with all that hurt you are feeling .. keep your head up and keep a positive outlook.

    Ok Keith my turn to have a shot for you.


  34. My weekend was a mixed bag of emotions. Aside from being alone on Saturday reflecting which led to drinking (I had a shot just for you Jade)it picked up. Sunday after church I went grocery shopping and ran into my lady friend so we spent the day together hitting the POW WOW festival and then a Celtic festival. At 4pm we parted company so I could go to an outdoor party then hooked back up afterward for a quick smooch goodnight.
    Monday my buddy and I headed up to Michigan and had a “guys only” day riding go carts, hitting the shops and dinner.

  35. How was everyone’s holiday weekend? Jade, I hope things are better for you. We are here whenever u need someone to listen to. You have our full support, blessings and prayer. =)

  36. Hi guys. Keith.. r u. drinking? I am going to start now ai will think of you LOL. Let’s get drunk at the same time.
    M. This is when we are on auto pilot. When I was in that state I just started existing just so I don’t die. I volunteer at a senior center even though I hardly have any time … but felt like I needed to be more than flesh and blood just walking around and was so unhappy with myself. Little did I know that there are worse things in life than being healthy and able to wake up in the morning with options for our lives.
    Remember .. baby steps.
    Going to make my drink 🙂

  37. Dear Jade and Keith,
    I am sitting home alone tonight just finishing work and not wanting to be around anyone.
    Jade- I am sorry about your bad news and your family member. I hope things get better soon. I hope you accomplish your fun seeking ventures!!! Have fun for me too!!!

    Keith-I wish I could be open to finding someone whom I could be affectionate with. Unfortunately I feel like a crippled person. I dont even feel human anymore. Sometimes I just feel like a thing, and object, just occupying space. I cringed at the thought of touching or letting someone else but him get close to me. It has been 8 months and I cant stop loving and wanting him.
    Go slow with your new relationship but be happy that at least you have found someone to share some loving, affectionate moments with.

    Hope tomorrow is better for all of us.


  38. While in Chicago, it dawned on me that the last time I was there was with my ex-wife which threw me into a building depression that led to a very long drive home alone. And with nothing to do on a Saturday night, I am sitting at home already drinking. Not all days can be good ones but there is always tomorrow.
    There was a kid playing violin on the street for spare change. When he was done, I threw in a couple dollars in his case then touched him on the shoulder and thanked him for the beautiful music. I thought it give him a smile but he kind of growled at me so I walked away.
    Hugs and kisses.

  39. Well we thirst not only for water I have learned myself. Ah, what do we do you know..

    I am just now waking up and its almost one pm. I drunk myself to bed yesterday.:) maybe that’s why.

    I will look to accomplish my mission. Have fun and a good one.

  40. Jade, so glad I can help…at least with my words. Please know that if I could be there, you would be leaning on my shoulder right know.
    As for me, last night the girl from last week came over and I have to admit my flesh was weak. I can blame it on the wine but I won’t and yes I did succumb to desire. So much for just being friends but I am still going to take it one day at a time.
    I decided to spend a reflection day today alone. The weather here is colder than usual so I am driving to Chicago and hitting the old haunts, just because.
    Mission for this weekend: Find someone who looks like they are sad or having a bad day and do everything you can to make them happy.

  41. Hope u r having a good weekend .. I got news that is somewhat good. A drop in a bucket really. But its an answer to prayers I am sure of it. There is progress.
    Hope you guys are doing good. Thank you very much for listening. I have this strange bond to you guys LOL. It helps so very much.
    Keith, your insight has been invaluable .. thank you so very much.

  42. Right. So sorry to hear what happened to your brother. It does seam like things take their places in time. My heart aches so badly for being so helpless to do anything .. some feeling of incompitency and guilt is there and sleepless nights … always have bags under my eyes and my frontal wrinkle has deepened. How fast life turns. I guess I don’t have to tell you that Keith. Please pray for me and my family. I will pray also for strength knowing He will see me thru it. I will pray for that patience Keith u said. We so so need that.
    Thank you for listening.
    How are things on your side guys???


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